Your Weekend Agenda: 11-13 August

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The weekend - like race, capitalism, and Beyoncé - is a social construct. Weekend living is a lifestyle that shouldn't just be relegated to the two days of the week that begin with S - you should be living it up Monday to Sunday, 'cos we only live once on this wretched, beautiful, rapidly-decaying Earth. Own it.*

*Individual results may vary. One Dojo employee recently went out on a Wednesday and has been crying at their desk since.
Friday 10th
#1 Eat your feelings at Carte Blanche
We're so good all week. We pack our sad, dribbly salads in our Tupperware and eat them for lunch without complaint. We resist our perennial impulse to eat our adult weight in utter grot. But sometimes, we gotta let loose, and that's where a spot like Carte Blanche comes in - a Southern U.S. comfort-style joint serving rich, fatty foods that would embarrass a French monarch. Go on, take a dip in the waters of indulgence with caviar served over fried chicken or a bone marrow and truffle cheeseburger, you know you to.
#2 Go for nocturnal nosh
It's nighttime, and you know what happens then? We get hungry, because dinner. But where on Earth does one find food after the sun goes down? At Hackney Downs Night Market, duh, where a cornucopia of street food vendors are swooping in to save you from after-dark hunger pangs. We're talking about vegan kebabs, Turkish wraps and salads, Greek street food, bad boi baos, and all the brews you can get your beak around.
#3 See some open-air jazz
What are you doing this Friday eve? Going home to try that new recipe in your slow cooker and rewatch episodes of Two and a Half Men? Well tell Charlie Sheen he can wait a hot minute, because you're going to a free open-air jazz gig at the luxy Beckenham Place. This weekend, as part of Balamii's summer music series, Dojo faves Vels Trio and 3peace will be bringing their dreamy jazz riffs to the SE post code. How's that for an upgrade?
Saturday 11th
#4 Get a dose of magic realism
The Weimar Republic - i.e. Germany between the first and second World Wars - was a pretty sick time. It was all about sex, drugs, jazz, cabaret, and unabashed hedonism - sounds like our Saturday night, tbh. Dive into the salacious universe of artists like Otto Dix, George Grosz, Albert Birkle and Jeanne Mammen at this major exhibition at the Tate, surveying the Magic Realism genre that emerged during the era. Many of these works were banned by the Nazis, who were really no fun at all.
#5 Have brunch and a boogie
The Levantine revellers at Disco Halal are blessing us with another divinely-sanctioned shakedown this Saturday - except in a thrilling twist, they're bringing their friends at Salon along with them, for a food-and-foot-shufflin' double header that sounds like all our gastro-techno dreams come true. The day kicks off with a sumptuous brunch by Salon at a secret canalside terrace in Hackney Wick, and ends with an Israeli disco at our fave rave cave, Bloc. A well-rounded day of revelry.
#6 Have a proper rummage
You know what they say about one man's trash... it's usually another man's trash, but every so often it can make a kitschy little decorative bowl for another, thriftier man (or person of any gender). Have a little peek at the newly-reopened Kingsland Market and see if you can dig up some treasures of your own: formerly called 'The Waste Market', this bric-a-brac heaven has gotten a bit of a facelift - but don't worry, you can still get that thrill of rifling through mountains of crap to find that one bit of gold.
Sunday 12th
#7 See some intimate snaps
London-based photographer Alice Joiner is bubblin' up on the art scene with her raw, visceral snaps that train her lens on to the women around her, giving us an intimate look into their lives. The focus of the works in this three-day exhibition is contemporary womanhood in all its iterations, and how women are finding their own place in a world that is often hostile to them. Come along and get to know her before she blows up.
#8 Go on a rural escape to Barnes
This wild expanse of wetland in the untamed wilds of Barnes makes for a perfect Sunday mini-getaway. The 105-acre city wildlife area features an extensive landscape of lagoons, ponds, thick reeds and plenty o' green. Grab some binoculars and have a peep at the wetlands' cutest residents - ducks and otters, plus some pretty sexy birds just doing their thing, being birds and shit. This spot is a serious heart warmer.
#9 Dutty wine away your Sunday
The countdown to the lit-est weekend of the summer is on, and people are getting hyped. Join in on the action with this free day of music, drinks, and soul food paying tribute to the pioneers who catapulted Carnival from a small community festival to one of the world's most famous turn ups. Expect to hear jazz, reggae, funk, choir music and all the sounds that make Carni a special place.
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