7 V-Day Dates That Don't Suck

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Roses are red / violets are blue / you're coupled up on V-Day / and looking for something to do. This it it, the big V - no, not Victory Day... ol' Valentine's. Drop bombs of luv on your hunny at one of these date spots, then take them home for D-Day. No candlelight dinners here, just good old fashioned fun for you and your boo.
Take your home videos to new cinematic heights at this steamy workshop, where amateur pornstars in the making will learn the ins and outs (and ins and outs) of getting it on in front of the camera. Queer pornographer and sexual liberties campaigner Pandora Blake will show you the ropes (ahem), offering tips and tricks on making a safe, empowering, sex-positive skin flick. First rule: never, ever use night vision (we're looking at you, Paris Hilton).
Tell us a story, baby. This magical musical storytelling event is taking place on Valentine's Day - and as far as date nights go, this is a good'un. The premise: six speakers tell a story about a song that's had an impact on their life. It takes place at the palatial Wilton's Music Hall, the perfect setting for a romantic eve. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hopefully get laid after.
Show your bae that you're a hole-in-one this Valentine's day by showing them *exactly* what you can do with your stick. Junkyard golf club is a wacky, wonky, zany place, complete with dinosaurs, jungle bathtubs, scrapyard slides and circus freaks. As part of this special V-Day extravaganza, expect special love potions, heart-wrenching ballads, and a one-off mash-up of their three separate courses.
Cut the bullshit: the chocolates, the flowers, the wining and dining... the real spirit of Valentine's Day is in the doink, the boink, the boot knockin' and bed rockin'. Put it down good with help from Sh!, London's only woman-centric sex shop. Browse their well-curated selection of goodies, or attend one of their many stimulating workshops.
Dough-n't go breaking your boo's heart this V-Day, pull out all the stops by taking them to this pasta-making masterclass. Get saucy in the kitchen with Chef Liam, who'll show you how to make crab tagliatelle from scratch and cook tiger prawns with a blowtorch. Love birds will then sit down to eat their kitchen creations and taste a selection of British white wines and beers, before polishing it all of with Liam's signature Oreo brownies.
A stalwart for romance, this fairy light-laden haven is where you want to be plunking your bum on Valentine's Day. They specialise in gypsy swing - the kind of Romani-influenced jazz played by Django Reinhardt - and host live bands every night. Take that, throw on some quality French eats from their menu and a bottle of bubbly - and if you can't seal the deal, then we can't help you.
If you're not about going slow, get your boo's engines revving on the race track. This wild go karting centre in Mile End is allegedly the fastest in Central London. It's a heart-pumping ride around the 750m floodlight track, where thrill-seeking love birds can reach up to 50mph. Maybe you'll get the chance to pop your boo's clutch afterwards - vroom vroom, baby.
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