Mother's Day Special: 10 great ideas for every type of mum

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Look, if there's anyone in the world you owe a solid to, it's your mum. The woman carried you through to term, pushed you out of her hoo-ha (or adopted you, or endured a C-section, or...), nursed you for far too long, bore the lion's share of unpaid emotional labour, endured your asshole teenage years without taking out a restraining order, and somehow moulded you into a semi-functional human. Just hang out with your mum or maternal figure today, ok? Here are some places to do it, depending on the type of umbilical partner you have.
The Chardonnay mum
You know the one. The mum who always cracks open a 2015 Tesco's Finest Chard when her partner's not around. Make her dreams come true at the Humble Grape, which is less-than-humble in their eye-wateringly extensive stock of drops. The atmo is the perfect amount of not-too-hip, too, so no handlebar moustaches or rap music to scare mother dear.
The mum who needs to let loose
This mum hasn't had a cocktail since 1999, but you can see a little twinkle in her eye. You know she's got a little bit of mischief in her, it just needs some coaxing out. Enter Bunga Bunga, the Ant & Dec of Italian restaurants. This Mother's Day, mums eat free when dining with a family member, and may even be serenaded by an Elvis impersonator. Why? Why not? Throw unlimited bellinis onto all that and don't be surprised if mum puts the moves on the King.
The hard of hearing mum
Mums and restaurants don't often mix. The incessant stream of conversation from chattering diners, the blaring music, the clinking and clanking of silverware... it's not poor ol' mum's scene. Baltic eschews all that noisy bollocks with high ceilings, hushed acoustics, and a generally slowed pace. It's a great place to eat good food without feeling like you're at a doom metal concert. Plus, they've got tablecloths, and mums love a tablecloth.
The business mum
That briefcase-carrying, perm-sporting, shoulder pad-loving lady (ok, so our vision of a business lady is Dolly Parton in 9 to 5, is that so wrong?) in your life needs a break. There are spas aplenty in this unforgiving metropolis where you can kick your blistered feet up, but we're fans of Lush Spa (yes, that Lush). Their spa is a haven of calm, and each treatment has a strong focus on aromatherapy and spiritual wellness.
The intellectual mum
You know how it seems like mums know everything? That's because they do. As soon as you become a mum, you are blessed with a wellspring of infinite knowledge by the gods of child-rearing. We know your mum is already way smart, but maybe you can get to her level by attending an enlightening talk at the School of Life with her. Lectures here focus on the stuff of life, or how to be your highest self.
The sporty mum
So you've never seen your mum wear anything other than Lycra. She looks like she's perpetually off to a fitness class - and more often than not, she actually is. Take her to a yoga class at Yoke, the most peaceful yoga studio in Dalston. On Sundays they do a brunch and yoga special, where yogis can opt in to a post-class brunch catered by the excellent Brunswick East next door. You're killing the Mother's Day game.
The outdoorsy mum
If your mum's constantly banging on about the majesty of nature, take her for a nice long stroll in Highgate Wood and 'accidentally' lose her there. Just kidding, you love your mum right? Then don't leave her in the woods, you monster. After your stroll, take her to Queen's Wood Cafe for some tea, cakes, and countryside vibes.
Queen's Wood Cafe
The young-at-heart mum
Your mum is THAT mum. The Amy Poehler in Mean Girls mum. The fake tits and leopard print mum. The 'I'll give you a bump in the stalls, don't tell the PTA' mum. She wants to have a good time, and she'll stop at nothing to get that sweet rush. Take the hurricane that birthed you to Emily's Bar - a raucous Dalston pleasure den that matches mummy dear in mischief.
The rad mum
If your mum is always going on about her bygone days fighting the power - yapping your ear off about all the marches she organised and her salacious affairs with Labour MPs - then bring your bleeding heart mother figure to Women of the World Festival at Southbank. Hook her up with a day pass and hop between illuminating talks by inspiring ladies fighting injustice around the world.
The... mum who likes flowers?
Ok, coming up with 10 different mum stereotypes is hard work, and mothers are three dimensional people who don't fit into rigid types, anyways. So if you have a mother, she'll probably like the Orchids Festival at Kew. Because everyone in the world likes flowers.
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