Dating 101: 25 April - 1 May
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There's a reason spring is the sexiest season. Look around you, it's just ripe with romantic euphemisms - the birds and the bees are out in full force, the tulips are blossoming, and the smell of sexual desperation penetrates the crisp, herbaceous air. It's total madness, guys. Better snatch your hunny before the next suitor does, or you'll be alone in summer, with no one to take on a weekend holibobs to the Cotswolds.
While most London pubs and restaurants shamefully shut their doors before midnight, the Laughing Heart gets the last laugh most nights, dishing out small plates and grapes 'til 2am. This means a really great date doesn't have to end before your niece's bedtime, and no awkward floundering to find a post-pub spot when you get thrown onto the street by cantankerous bartenders.
This is for the lovers who met on MySpace - or who met on Tinder, but probably would have met on MySpace back in the day. Lo-fi, breezy indie with emo lyrics that could make Taking Back Sunday blush. Perfect for holding hands in the crowd before going home and painstakingly ripping off those too-tight skinnies.
Nothing like a little same-sex soft-core to get those love engines revvin'. If you're the blushing type, we'd advise that you skip this sexy tale about a lesbian affair between an heiress and a pickpocket in Japan-occupied Korea. But if illicit erotica's your bag, then purchase two tickets immediately and never look back.
This manicured park is so date-ready, it's almost too much. Six different gardens to choose from, beautiful views of the Thames, a gallery in a Grade II listed building - it's all here. Plus, you can rent a pedalo and ride side by side - which is a bit vom, but love makes people do strange things.
This is a bit of a rogue one, but we're inclined to think that knowing how to use your hands is sexy. Put those digits to work at the Good Life Centre, a learning space that holds 'hands on' workshops that teach practical skills, like woodwork, furniture restoration, tool skills, screen printing, and much more. Learn how to handle a drill before getting drilled at home later (sorry).